Length 17:40
Episode 3
Why You Can't Stop Checking Her Instagram at 2 AM?
One night, minute by minute: why her brunch photo hurts, why you keep refreshing, and how a photo from June 2023 gets liked at 3:17 AM.
Watch on YouTube ↗The 2AM Guy · Episode 4 · 11:00
Why You Want to Message Her at 2 AM?
A lot of us have written it. The long one, then a shorter one, then just "hey".
This episode follows one night, eight weeks after she ended it. At 1:41 AM he starts a long message. By 2:16 it's down to one word. At 2:19 his thumb is over the send arrow. This time he doesn't press it, and the hard part comes after.
It puts the research next to each minute: why the pull feels like a craving, why 2 AM is a bad time to decide anything, what was around the nights people gave in, the plan he made on Sunday afternoon, and what to do while the urge is still loud.
Almost none of this research is about exes. Most of it is about cigarettes and alcohol, and the video says so each time it borrows from it. Treat it as a map, not a promise about your night.
Studies mentioned (9)
- Fisher et al. (2010), Journal of Neurophysiology: reward and craving areas after rejection in love
- Tubbs et al. (2022), Frontiers in Network Physiology: the "Mind after Midnight" hypothesis
- Shiffman et al. (2020), Psychopharmacology: what surrounded lapses, and coping that helped
- McWilliams et al. (2019), Health Psychology: if-then plans and quitting smoking (meta-analysis)
- Gallo et al. (2009), Journal of Personality and Social Psychology: if-then plans vs plain goals
- Bowen & Marlatt (2009), Psychology of Addictive Behaviors: urge surfing
- Kross et al. (2014), Journal of Personality and Social Psychology: talking to yourself as "you"
- Langeslag & Sanchez (2018), Journal of Experimental Psychology: General: ways of handling an ex's photo
- McClung et al. (2026), Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy: contact with an ex, anxiety and depression
More episodes
Length 17:40
Length 18:43
Episode 2
What Alcohol Does to the Text You Send Your Ex?
One night, hour by hour: why the 2 AM message feels brilliant, and why it reads so differently at eleven.
Watch on YouTube ↗
Length 12:49
Episode 1
What Happens to Your Body in the First 24 Hours After a Breakup?
The adrenaline alarm, the cortisol wave, and why the urge to text her feels so reasonable on night one.
Watch on YouTube ↗At 2am right now? The free app gives you something to do instead of texting her.
Open the app, freeThe videos cover one night each. The book covers the whole way out.
Get the book + audiobook — $24.99Read it or listen to it — both included
55-page PDF · about half an hour to read · 46-minute audiobook · instant download
thedonttextyourex.com is the home of Don't Text Your Ex - a 55-page PDF for men written by Kamil Zaleński, originally published as How to Get Over a Breakup. It is not connected to any other book, film, app or song of a similar name.