Length 12:49
Episode 1
What Happens to Your Body in the First 24 Hours After a Breakup?
The adrenaline alarm, the cortisol wave, and why the urge to text her feels so reasonable on night one.
Watch on YouTube ↗The 2AM Guy · Episode 2 · 18:43
What Alcohol Does to the Text You Send Your Ex?
It's 1:40 AM, you've had four beers, and the message to your ex is typed out. It's honest. It's well put. It might even be a bit funny. By 11 the next morning it reads very differently.
This episode follows one night hour by hour and puts the research next to it: why a few beers calm you down at the pub and wind you up at home, how alcohol narrows your attention to the loudest thing in the room, why stopping yourself gets harder than starting, why you feel sober before your brakes come back, and why the message felt brilliant when you sent it.
Nobody has studied men texting their exes at 2 AM after four beers. These are lab and survey studies about attention, self-control, sleep and regret, put together. Treat it as a map, not a record of your night.
Studies mentioned (20)
- Perez et al. (2021), Journal of Technology in Behavioral Science: drunk texting among college students
- Fleming et al. (2018), Substance Use & Misuse: drinking after a breakup in young adults
- Davis, Shaver & Vernon (2003), Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin: attachment and reactions to a breakup
- Josephs & Steele (1990), Journal of Abnormal Psychology: alcohol, distraction and anxiety
- Athenstaedt et al. (2019), Social Psychological and Personality Science: attitudes towards ex-partners
- Steele & Josephs (1990), American Psychologist: alcohol myopia
- Giancola et al. (2010), Perspectives on Psychological Science: alcohol myopia and disinhibition (review)
- Fillmore & Vogel-Sprott (1999), Experimental and Clinical Psychopharmacology: alcohol and stopping yourself
- Ridderinkhof et al. (2002), Science: alcohol and the brain's error signal
- NIAAA: blood alcohol can keep rising after the last drink
- Miller & Fillmore (2014), Addictive Behaviors: feeling sober before self-control recovers
- Bègue et al. (2013), British Journal of Psychology: drinking and how attractive and funny you think you are
- Cortisol time course after acute stress (review)
- Ebrahim et al. (2013), Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research: alcohol and sleep (review)
- Marsh et al. (2019), Personality and Individual Differences: shyness and next-day anxiety after drinking
- Joshi et al. (2015), ACL-IJCNLP: automatic prediction of drunk-texting
- Loewenstein (2005), Health Psychology: hot-cold empathy gaps
- Langhinrichsen-Rohling et al. (2000), Violence and Victims: contact after a breakup, seen from each side
- González-Ponce et al. (2023), Substance Use & Misuse: regretted behaviour while drunk
- Bowen & Marlatt (2009), Psychology of Addictive Behaviors: "urge surfing" in smokers
This video is for information and education. It is not medical or mental health advice. If you're struggling or feel unsafe, contact a doctor or your local emergency services. If drinking is becoming a problem for you, talk to your doctor.
More episodes
Length 12:49
The videos cover one night each. The book covers the whole way out.
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thedonttextyourex.com is the home of Don't Text Your Ex - a 43-page PDF for men written by Kamil Zaleński, originally published as How to Get Over a Breakup. It is not connected to any other book, film, app or song of a similar name.